Ah, Disneyland. It's such a fun and magical place, and I will be there in like 5 days! And on top of that, my family and I are stopping in Las Vegas for two days on the way. Nothing like a family vacation. It seems though, that this could very well be our final one though. I must admit, it will feel nice to get out of my house for awhile, seeing as how all I've done the past week is sit around, watch Friends, and yell at the Mavericks. It's actually more fun than it sounds, but it does get tediously boring at times. So, a trip to the Happiest Place on Earth should do me some good.

So, in an effort to shorten this post (compared to the last one) I'm gonna get right to what's on my mind. As I hinted at last week, I deal with my confidence (or lack thereof) quite a bit. So, I got to wondering: what is it that finally pushes us over the thresholds in life? When there is something you want or desperately want to do, and it consumes every fiber of your being, what gives you the strength and willpower to take a step and a chance? Is it God? Or is it just sheer will and self-motivation?

Well, a few nights ago, I had a lot on my mind, as I usually do, and I ended up just sitting at my desk staring down on the lyrics to All I Need by Shawn McDonald. I just sat, thinking about alot of the stuff I mentioned last time and talking softly to God about said stuff - something I honestly haven't done in awhile. And, as I sat, I ran countless life scenarios through my head. It's something I do more often than not. It's actually this constant daytime drama type monologue of 'will i,' 'won't i,' and 'what if' running through my subconscience. This drew on for a little over an hour, and I kept having these swells of emotion as my insides went through stages of absurd nervousness to overwhelming joy. As these scenarios take over my mind and begin to delve deeper into more serious matters, I begin to worry about and doubt everything I am. They start to attack confidence, swipe reason, and persuade endlessly. The more I think and believe these scenarios, the more helpless I feel.

Eventually, I turned to the days reading in my Oswald Chambers book to find an entry regarding trust. It went on to say, "Never trust anything in yourself or in anyone else, except the grace of God." So after having my "life" flash before my mind, I read this and am somewhat blown away. It was one of those moments when the clouds part, light shines down upon what you're reading, and then a chorus of angels chimes in with the finale to Handel's Hallelujah chorus (the big Hallelujah!, Hallelujah!! part). Seriously. God is amazing. So, I ask again, how is it that we get over the threshold? Through faith and trust in God alone.

Now, as to what happens when we step out and take a chance - well, we'll see if I have what it takes when I get back from the Magic Kingdom. Smiles.

"God is our refuge and strength,
a very well proved help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear."
Psalm 46: 1-2.